Save Water, Drink Wine

THIS ARTICLE IS A WORK OF FICTION, WRITTEN IN LIGHTER VEIN, NOT TO HURT OR INVOKE ANYBODY’S SENTIMENTS. THE TITLE, STATEMENTS, SITUATIONS & RECOMMENDATIONS ARE PURELY HYPOTHETICAL IN NATURE

Andaman and Nicobar Islands, separated from mainland India by vast stretches of seas on all its sides are a remote place where the population is devoid of entertainment and amusement facilities unlike their mainland counterparts. Those inhabiting these islanders are therefore left to indulge in various activities such as rash driving, playing mobile ringtones at peak volume, chewing pan/gutka/sukka, spitting, littering, smoking, eve teasing, honking pressure/musical horns, visiting bars, playing cards, board games etc in a bid to quench their thirst for entertainment. The recent effort to grant bar license to 17 enterprising individuals vide Press Note No 7-392/LS/2009-10/6440 dated 04/11/2010 published in the Administrations mouthpiece The Daily Telegrams on the festive day of Deepawali ie., on 05/11/2010 and repeated on Sunday, 07/11/2010 can be regarded as a big step in the direction of providing wholesome entertainment to the islanders at large.

I am surprised and rather perplexed that bar license is proposed to be granted to select individuals, whereas lot of Jobless youths, Associations, Cooperative Societies, Mahila Mandals, Self Help Groups are running from pillar to posts to find opportunities to earn a livelihood. It is well understood that operating bar is a profitable business as far as A&N Islands are concerned. So why not invite applications from Jobless youths, Associations, Cooperative Societies, Mahila Mandals, Self Help Groups and their likes for grant of bar license.  If such associations are given license to run a bar, the profits could turn the fortune for the members of such associations thus problem of Unemployment among the islanders could be solved to a greater extent.

It would be just appropriate to formulate a scheme so that more and more entrepreneurs could be attracted in the business of selling liquor. In the 1^st phase of the scheme, sale of liquor could be permitted over the counter from PDS shops along with essential commodities so that while preparing budget for the family, liquor could also be included.  Some of the costly items such as toor dall etc could be replaced by yellow dall and the money saved could be used to purchase additional quota of liquor for the month. Further selling liquor through existing network of PDS will result in healthy competition - price will fall and service will improve, which means even those with meager income would be able to purchase liquor, drink full quota and attain nirvana.

In the 2^nd phase, the scheme could be extended to Panwala, Gutkawala, Lassiwala, Chana-Matar-Mumphali wala, Tea-Samosa-Chowmin wala, Non-operational STD-ISD Telephone booth operators, petty shops etc so that there will be a liquor shop at every nook and corner. Thus crowding in front of individual bar would become a thing of the past. Traffic, Unemployment and other social problems such as eve-teasing etc will vanish because there will hardly be anybody left on the roads to raise a cacophony or complain.

But the most important thing would be to reduce the present 50 m restriction to 5 m and the scheme should invariably be published in the largest circulated daily giving 15 days notice inviting objections, preferably on Sundays or holidays so that almost everybody would give the notice a miss and the chances of anybody objecting to the scheme could be thwarted. Even if anybody comes forward, a corrigendum may be issued after a long gap saying it is a typographical error, 5m may be read as 50m, nobody will understand the context, and the scheme could to be implemented without hassle.

Its right time, the Jobless youths, Associations, Cooperatives, Mahila Mandals, Self Help Groups and their likes ought to come forward and join the revolutionary business venture. Let there be more shops selling liquor than anything else so that patrons need not travel long distance burning precious petrol or diesel in their pursuit. Let there be a resolve to make liquor available at the doorstep for everybody to drink and save water for the future generation (if there is any).

The post has been derived from my original article of the same name, carried in Andaman Sheekha dated 25/11/2010